Do you sometimes feel lonely because you find it difficult to make mom friends? Motherhood is one of the most beautiful experiences you will ever have. Unfortunately, it can also be one of the most isolating.
In this post, I will cover how to overcome this isolation by outlining ways to make friends online and in person. I will also talk about ways you can find purpose in yourself outside of being a mom. So stay tuned!
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What Causes Isolation in Motherhood?
The simple answer? Lack of mom friends. The reality of being responsible for another human being is something that only another parent can understand. If you haven’t gone through this experience, there’s no way you can fully grasp the physical, emotional, and mental toll it will take on you.
I too felt this isolation after I became a mom. I was the first in my friend group to get married or have a baby. After I had my baby I noticed that my friends who were all still single started to distance themselves from me slowly.
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Who would want to spend their day off hanging out with a mom and her fussy young baby, when they could be out on the town living it up? I had less and less in common with them. I was more concerned with all things baby-related such as naps, routines, bedtime, etc.
I didn’t have time to spend in the clubs anymore. My life was moving in a different direction from theirs and there was nothing I could do about it.
To top it all off, my husband and I came to the decision that I would be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). Being a SAHM comes with its own set of challenges, and one of those is loneliness. It’s a huge transition from being around people in an office (a classroom in my case) to being with a baby all day with no adult interaction.
They didn’t come around much and they didn’t invite me to spend time with them anymore. In a way, I understood why. That’s when the isolation started to kick in.
So, how do you combat this feeling of loneliness? Read on to find out
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How To Make Mom Friends In Your Neighborhood
There are so many places where you could find potential mom friends. Anywhere people gather is a gold mine for finding mom friends. Think about where you frequently go with your baby. Chances are, other moms, go there too.
1. Plan a visit to your local library
Most public libraries do storytime for young kids. They also have various arts and craft activities that bring in lots of moms each week.
2. Another place you can find mommy friends is in your local playground
Go to the park at the same time every day. Allow your child to join the other kids to play.
If you go there consistently enough, your kid will make friends with the regulars that show up at that same time. When this happens, all you’ll have to do is introduce yourself to the other parent and invite them for a play date.
Other places that you could regularly go with your child include:
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3. The pool
5. Play places
6. Baby yoga
7. Stroller stride (hosted by Fit4Moms)
8. Religious functions
9. If you have family members with kids, then you can spend time with them as well.
10. If you don’t have family close by, then you may consider joining a local MOPS group.
MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschool Children. They are a Christian-based organization that organizes meetings for moms based on different needs.
If you can’t find a group, think about starting your own. Give out flyers at the local park and library. Post some at the church you attend (if you’re religious). Be patient and persistent, and with time, you will see results.
How to make mom friends online (through apps)
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If you’ve tried all of the methods listed above then it may be beneficial to try making mom friends online through apps.
I have not tried out all of them but I have spoken to a lot of people who have used them. Remember that non of these methods are guaranteed. You have to put in the effort to reap a fruitful reward.
11. Peanut App
Peanut is the number one app designed specifically for moms.
Whether you’re expecting a baby, a new parent or you have multiple kids, you can find someone in your stage of life with this app. Through this app, I met and created a local mommy group. We are a group of 5 moms who meet up in each other’s homes every week for play dates. It helps to have people in your corner who understand your life as a mom.
12. Bumble BFF
Although I haven’t used this app yet, I have heard very good things. Bumble BFF is the offshoot of the regular Bumble dating app. You can set your location and use it to find mothers in your area and plan a meetup.
This is a paid app but it might get you the quickest result. You get a chance to either create your meetup group or join one already created. Meetup is a platform for people to meet others who share the same interest as them (in this case parenting).
14. Facebook Groups
If you already have a Facebook account, try searching the group tab to see if there are any playgroups in your geographical area.
Chances are, someone already created one. If there are none, then feel free to create your own. I know many parents in the region will be grateful you did.
What if you have a busy job that doesn’t give you enough time to socialize with other moms? Is it still possible to have mommy friends? The answer is yes.
Keep reading to find out how.
How to Make Mom Friends When You Work
It might be a bit more challenging to find mommy friends when you have to be in a work environment all day, but it’s not impossible.
You might even be able to find a friend right in your workplace. Try finding out if any of your coworkers have kids within your child’s age range.
You may be able to plan a playdate with them on your day off. Another way to meet mommy friends is to linger around when you pick your child up from daycare.
If your child is not in daycare, you may want to consider putting them in one. This will help them with learning social interaction. When you do pick your child up, try to come a little early and linger a bit. Most parents arrive early to pick their kids up.
Strike up a conversation with some of them and extend an invitation for a playdate. To conclude, I want you to know that it may take some time for any of these efforts to pay off. One thing you have to do is stay consistent.
Don’t feel rejected if someone turns down your offer. We all have busy lives, and there may be a good reason why they said no. Just keep trying.
Other Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How Many Friends Do You Need?
You don’t need a ton of friends to be happy. Research suggests that we only need somewhere between 3 and 5 friends to be happy.
And those who have one best friend are said to be happier than those who do not. I hope that this article has helped you discover new ways to make mom friends in your neighborhood.
Comment below and tell me which methods you will try this week. If you have more suggestions, please leave them below as well.
If you found the article useful, please share it with your friends and followers on social media so that others can benefit from it as well.
What if you’re an introvert? How would you go about making mom friends?
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How do you make mom friends as an Introvert?
Introverts have a unique challenge when it comes to making mommy friends. Being an introvert means that your mental energy is easily drained when engaging in prolonged social interactions.
As an introvert, You are more reserved, quiet, and focused on your internal thoughts and feelings. You enjoy your own company. You are also very observant of people and their body language. There’s a misconception that all introverts are shy people. That is not true.
Your level of introversion depends on the type of situation you are in. You might be more introverted when among strangers compared to people you already know.
So, how does an introvert make new mommy friends? There are two ways to go about it.
Find the Extrovert in the room
The first way to make new mommy friends is to become friends with at least one extrovert in your life. Extroverts are people who derive their mental energy from social interactions. They are more outgoing, and talkative.
If you are friends with an extrovert, then you will be exposed to all their friends. Observe to see which one of their friends has a similar personality to yours and try to befriend them.
It is easier to become deeper friends with an acquaintance than with a stranger. As an introvert myself, this is how I made most of my friends in life. My very best friend is a huge extrovert.
She introduces me to most of her friends. I got closer to the ones that I connected with the most. When you go to the park with your child, the library, or anywhere that moms frequent, focus on the mom or group of moms engaged in conversations the most.
Go up to them and say “hi, how old is your kid?” mine is…”. You will be surprised how many friends I have made with just that opening. Parents love to talk about their children with other parents, so try it out and let me know how it goes.
Find the introverts in the room
The second way is to make friends with other introverted moms. Say you’re in an area with a lot of parents and their kids. This time, instead of focusing on the extroverted mother there, look for the one who is sitting alone.
The mom who is not really “a part of the group” is probably an introvert. You already have two things in common with them. You are both introverts and parents.
Go up to them and say hello. Make a joke about not being invited to the party. Being friends with introverts will be more beneficial to you because you won’t have to try to match their energy levels all the time.
They will understand your need for alone time, and be generally more understanding of your personality. Keep reading to discover other ways to meet mommy friends online