It’s hard to stay motivated every day as a stay-at-home mom. Most stay-at-home moms fall into a funk from time to time.
It’s very easy to become overwhelmed by all the duties required to run a successful home. You can quickly get burnt out from these responsibilities. That’s why it’s important to find a way to stay motivated when life as a stay-at-home mom becomes too much to handle.
If you’re feeling down and unmotivated to perform your duty as a stay-at-home mom, know that you’re not alone. I used to feel that way too until I found some things that helped me in my SAHM journey.
In this article, I share some of the things I do to keep me motivated on a daily basis. Before we jump into the list, let’s take a look at some of the reasons you may be lacking motivation in your stay-at-home mom life.
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Some reasons why you have no motivation as a stay-at-home mom
You’re bored from being a stay-at-home mom
Going from being a working professional to a stay-at-home mom is a huge change for every mother. As a working professional, you had no shortage of social interaction with your colleagues. You had an excuse to get dressed and get out of the house every day.
As a stay-at-home mom, your days are spent interacting with children. If your kids are very young, you won’t be able to have a conversation with them. Being alone all day with kids adds to the boredom and isolation that stay-at-home moms feel.
You may also like: 29 Fun Stay-at-Home Mom Hobby Ideas
You’re overwhelmed with your new role as a stay-at-home mom
Only stay-at-home moms really understand the amount of work it takes to do the job we do. I know there is a huge misconception out there that SAHMs are lazy. Some people think we’re on an endless vacation where we lounge around and do nothing all day.
The truth is, we wear many hats. We are wives, teachers, parents, chauffeurs, money managers, maids, laundry ladies, cooks, etc. To see the full list of our responsibilities as SAHMs, check out What do stay-at-home moms do at home? (SAHM Duties List)
Juggling all these duties can leave you overwhelmed, and with no motivation. But don’t worry because there is hope. Keep reading to learn how to get motivated as a stay-at-home mom.
You’re a SAHM with no mom friends
Another big reason you may be lacking motivation as a stay-at-home mom is because you have no friends. I experienced this when I first became a SAHM many years ago.
My working friends didn’t understand why I would leave my high-paying job to stay home with my kids. As time went by, we lost touch because our lives were moving in different directions. I became so lonely at home that I started suffering from depression.
One way I got over this was by making friends with other SAHMs in my neighborhood. You need someone you can vent to when you’re having a hard day. Someone who understands your experience and can provide real support.
You may also like: 17 Proven Ways To Make Mom Friends (Loneliness No More)
No help from family members
There are so many situations that can isolate you from family. Maybe you have a toxic family, so you don’t bring your kids around them often. It could also be that your family just lives very far away, so you don’t get as much help from them.
Whatever the reason may be, not having family help could lead to you being a stay-at-home mom with no motivation.
You have SAHM depression
Stay-at-home mom depression is a real thing. According to Parents, stay-at-home depression is caused by the loss of identity, loneliness, and isolation when women leave the workforce to stay home.
Stay-at-home mom depression can make you lose motivation. How do you expect to care for your home and children when you feel like you’ve lost your identity? Talking to a therapist will help you work on finding a new self-identity as a mom.
People around you don’t accept your decision to stay at home
It can be tough when your friends or family oppose your decision to become a stay-at-home mom. If you’re in this situation, you may find yourself always on the defensive about your decision.
Know that you don’t have to justify your reasons to anyone. You and your spouse know why you chose to stay home. Keep that in your mind every time someone doubts you.
Insecure from your loss of income
If you’re an independent person who takes pride in earning your own way in life, becoming a stay-at-home mom will be hard on you. As SAHMs, we have to be comfortable with not earning a living and relying on our spouses to take care of us.
Your loss of motivation as a stay-at-home mom could be coming from not being able to earn your own money anymore. If this is the case, there are things you can do to fix it. See my post on 12 Best Side Jobs For Stay-at-Home Moms for ways you can earn income at home.
Now that we know some of the causes of our lack of motivation, let’s take a look at some ways we can stay motivated each day as stay-at-home moms.
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How to stay motivated as a stay-at-home mom
Remind yourself of the benefits of staying home with your kids
It’s easy for us to forget the reason we became SAHMs with all the added responsibilities we face each day. Make a list of 5-10 reasons why you chose this lifestyle.
Post that lists on your wall and recite them to yourself every morning. See if that helps improve your mood. Check out this section of my article to learn the benefits-of-being-a-stay-at-home-mom for your kids and your relationship.
Get dressed from head to toe every morning
This is something simple you can do to improve your mood and motivation as a stay-at-home mom. It’s very easy to fall into the habit of wearing sweatpants and pajamas every day.
By getting dressed every morning, you’ll feel like you have a purpose for the day. When you look good, you’ll also feel good. That will translate into everything you do that day.
You don’t need to wear a formal outfit or anything fancy. A cute top and nice leggings will do. I usually go for casual chic outfits.
Talk to a therapist if you’re depressed
The first thing you want to do is talk to a therapist if you think you’re depressed. Depression can escalate if not treated properly.
When I was suffering from stay-at-home mom depression, I spoke to my spouse about it. Together we found a therapist who was also a mom and understood the challenges I was facing.
She gave me tools that helped me cope with being at home. I started to shift my mindset regarding my new role as a mom. Eventually, with time, my depression faded away.
It is so easy to neglect ourselves as mothers. We do spend our day caring for others, and we forget to care for ourselves as well. How many times have you found yourself skipping meals because an errand had to be done, or your child needed you for something?
I used to find myself skipping meals, showers, and not brushing my teeth because I get so busy as soon as I woke up every morning. All of these can leave you feeling unmotivated as a stay-at-home mom.
I now carve out time for myself each day to relax. When the kids are napping, I go take a nap as well. When they’re playing, I work on a hobby of mine. If I have downtime in the evening, I’ll read a book or take a bath.
When my spouse is off from work, I go do my nails, cut my hair, get a massage or see a chiropractor. I make sure that I prioritize my well-being so that I can be mentally able to care for my children.
Get out of the house for at least 1 hour a day with the kids
This is the most important thing I do each day as a SAHM. If I don’t leave the house during the day, I get very bored. My kids get bored too.
I have found that taking them to the park for at least 1 hour helps them wear off excess energy. This enables them to sleep longer for naps and bedtime. It also rejuvenates me to see different faces outside.
When possible, I link up with another mom friend of mine, and we go to the park together. This way, I get some adult interaction while the kids play.
Get a hobby
I can honestly say that a hobby saved my sanity when I first became a stay-at-home mom. I was depressed and unmotivated to do anything.
Besides keeping my kids alive, I didn’t do much else. The house was constantly messy and I didn’t have the energy to clean it. I realize that my lack of motivation came from not having something outside of motherhood that I did for myself.
I was bored with the mundane and repetitive nature of being a stay-at-home mom. I started focusing on my hobbies a lot more than I used to. I took up painting and sewing again. I also started this blog to help other stay-at-home moms like myself.
These are the things that keep me going when the days are hard. It’s a part of my self-care. Check out 29 Fun Stay-at-Home Mom Hobby Ideas (money-making hobbies included) for some ideas of hobbies you could start today.
Get a schedule to stay organized
One of the reasons you’re not motivated as a stay-at-home mom is that you may not be organized enough. With all the things we have to juggle daily, you will get overwhelmed if you don’t keep some kind of schedule.
I make a schedule for myself and the kids daily and weekly, so I know what needs to be done. This way, nothing falls through the cracks. I also feel less overwhelmed.
Check out these post for inspiration:
Get some SAHM friends
If the cause of your lack of motivation is not having mom friends, then your solution will be to make some new friends.
Making new friends as an adult is easier said than done. The good news is that most moms are always looking to connect with other moms for playdates. I suggest using the app Peanut to find new mom friends.
Peanut is an app made for moms in all stages of life (working moms, SAHMs, pregnant moms, etc.) Through this app, I was able to meet 5 wonderful moms who are now part of my “mom group”. We meet weekly at each other’s homes for playdates with the kids.
Get a side job
There’s no shame in it if you miss having a paying job. I did too when I first became a stay-at-home mom. There are plenty of jobs out there that you can do from home. To get some ideas, check out 12 Best Side Jobs For Stay-at-Home Moms
Some of the jobs in the link above can be done in your free time. Some are businesses you could start from your own home, while others are things you could do part-time.
A side job will help you build savings and contribute financially to your household. It will also help build your self-esteem if you were feeling down about not making any money.
Use a to-do list daily
Another thing I use to keep me motivated at home is a to-do list. A simple post-it note is all you need. Each morning I write down 5 important things I need to do for the house, for the kids, and for myself. I try to build time for self-care into my day.
As my day goes by, I check off the things I was able to accomplish. Everything else that wasn’t done gets moved to the next day. The goal of a To-Do list is to help you get as much work done as possible without overwhelming you.
Do some exercise every day
With all the things you have on your plate, exercising is probably the last thing on your mind. When I say do some exercise every day, I’m not talking about a HIIT workout (unless you’re into that).
A simple full-body stretch in the morning will do the trick. Sometimes, I like to do some yoga by following along with a YouTube video.
According to the NIH, exercise improves mental health by reducing negative moods, and improving self-esteem. It also increases cognitive function and helps alleviate symptoms of social withdrawal.
So if you want to stay motivated as a stay-at-home mom, adding some exercise to your daily routine will be a great place to start.
Declutter your home
Decluttering can be a daunting task for most people because it involves getting rid of some of your possession. You don’t need to declutter your whole house in one day. You can start with the room that has the most clutter. Find 5 items that you or your family no longer use and donate them.
Letting go of things can be a very empowering and freeing experience. From time to time, my kids and I declutter their toys and we either put up for sale some of the things they don’t want anymore or we donate them.
They learn the value of generosity when they donate, and also learn a thing or two about money when they sell their stuff. Decluttering also makes cleaning your home easier. When there is less stuff around, you cut your cleaning time in half.
Take a shower, brush your teeth and eat breakfast every day.
One thing you should prioritize every day is taking care of your body. That includes showering and brushing your teeth.
It’s also important that you eat breakfast. I can’t tell you how many times I have forgotten to eat or even brush my teeth when my kids were younger. I had to make a conscious effort to care for myself in these ways. It helped me feel good about myself.
If you find it difficult to do because of your kids, then my advice for you is to wake up a little earlier than them.
Accept help whenever its offered
Sounds crazy that I even have to say this, but accept help when it’s offered. If someone offers to watch your kids for a few minutes, say YES! If you trust them.
Use that time to do your own thing or even take a walk alone. As stay-at-home moms, we get so used to doing everything on our own, that we never expect help from others. We may feel that they won’t follow our instructions correctly, or won’t do things as well as we do them.
That may be true but we also need a break sometimes. A few hours with someone else won’t ruin the routines or procedures you have for your kids. It’s also good for them to get used to other people besides you.
Ask for help with the kids when needed
If you’re in a position where you need some help and no one is offering it, then don’t be afraid to ask directly. Ask your husband to pitch in more at home. Give him a list of things you would like him to help you with.
If you have family close by, ask them to help with the kids on certain days of the week. You’ve probably heard the phrase “close mouths don’t get fed”. If you don’t ask, no one will know you need help.
Take some alone time away from the kids once a week
It’s good to have alone time away from the kids sometimes. I suggest you go out at least once a week when possible. Call up a friend and go somewhere with them. Do adult things. You can also go out alone and enjoy yourself.
Ask your spouse to watch the kids for the day so you can have time for yourself. Just because we are stay-at-home moms doesn’t mean we have to be home 24/7 and 365 days a week.
Journaling is a great way to get your thoughts out. You don’t have to worry about being judged for feeling the way you feel. Write down all the things that make you unmotivated in your SAHM life.
Write down your fears, hopes, and dreams. You don’t ever have to share your journal with anyone so feel free to pour your feelings out. I suggest journaling every evening after your kids are in bed because you won’t be interrupted.
Spend more alone time with your spouse
Sometimes it can feel like you’re a single mom because you spend so much time alone with your kids. That’s why it’s so important to spend quality time with your spouse.
Try to arrange for a sitter at least once or twice a month so that you and your spouse can go out on a date.
Just like you care for your kids and home, you must also care for your relationship with your spouse. If you don’t make time to spend alone together, you won’t connect intimately. This can lead to resentment and frustration between you two.
Repeat daily affirmations to yourself
Part of staying motivated in your role as a stay-at-home mom involves having a positive attitude. One way to have a positive attitude is to change the pessimistic way you think.
For example, instead of saying “I’m not very good at this SAHM thing”, you can rather say “being a SAHM is hard work but I just have to take things one day at a time”.
Repeating a positive affirmation to yourself every day is also another way to change your mindset. Remember the list of 5-10 reasons you chose to be a SAHM in the first place? Repeat those to yourself every morning so you know what your priorities are.
Use technology to make your SAHM life easier
Technology is a lifesaver nowadays. I have different apps on my phone that help me manage my home. I use my reminder app to help me keep track of things on my To-Do list.
I use the MealLime app to meal prep for the whole week so I don’t have to worry about what to cook. I use the Flylady plus app to help me break up my house cleaning. The app tells you which room to clean each day so you don’t become overwhelmed.
I also have an app that gives me positive affirmations to repeat throughout the day.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, sad, lonely, or depressed with your life as a stay-at-home mom, know that you’re not alone.
Most SAHMs feels like this at some point in their life. It’s important to find ways to improve your mood and motivation so that it doesn’t become something worse.
Use all the resources on this list to try and help you improve your mood. Just remember that you don’t have to do all 19 items on the list. Pick a few that works best for your life, and try those.
I hope this article has helped you figure out how to stay motivated as a stay-at-home mom.